My sister, Margie, sent me this fun personality test today so I thought I’d pass it along. If all of the desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which one would you choose? Do not cheat—go with the first dessert you pick! (Sorry, you can only pick one.) Choose your dessert, then read what psychiatrists have to say about you.

Here are the choices:

  1. Angel Food Cake
  2. Brownies
  3. Lemon Meringue
  4. Vanilla Cake with Chocolate Frosting
  5. Strawberry Shortcake
  6. Chocolate on Chocolate
  7. Ice Cream
  8. Carrot Cake

You can’t change your mind after you’ve read the descriptions, so think carefully about what your choice will be! OK, now that you’ve made your choice, this is what the research says about you:

Angel Food Cake – Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice-cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.

Brownies - You are adventurous, love new ideas and are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

Lemon Meringue – Smooth, sexy and articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don’t try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva, but you have many friends.

Vanilla Cake with Chocolate Icing – Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.

Strawberry Shortcake – Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. You can be assertive. Intuitively keen. You are intelligent, but can be very emotional at times.

Chocolate on Chocolate – Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

Ice Cream – You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don’t like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

Carrot Cake – You are a very fun-loving person who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm-hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

I’d love to tell you which dessert I picked, but I suffer from selectophobia, a paralyzing mental disorder that prevents me from choosing my favorite ANYTHING! Favorite song. I dunno. Favorite food? That’s a ridiculous question. If I was stranded on a desert island and could only bring one book to read for the rest of my life? That’s so stupid I’m not even justifying it with an answer. (It would be Looneyspoons.) Plus, I absolutely hate hypothetical questions. Best friend? It’s really not nice to rank people. Favorite color? To wear? To paint my kitchen? For a car? For toenail polish? Please clarify!

Naturally, when my sister sent me this email “test” (I despise tests, too), I was in complete protest. Mostly because cheesecake isn’t on the list, but also because my paralysis by analysis kicked in and threw off my body’s equilibrium and stressed me out for the whole day. How am I supposed to pick a dessert without answers to the following questions?: Does the carrot cake have cream-cheese icing? Because if it doesn’t, I don’t want carrot cake at all. What does “lemon meringue” mean? Lemon meringue pie or just lemon-flavored meringue? There’s a difference, you know. Are the strawberries for the shortcake in season, or am I eating flavorless winter strawberries or (gasp!) soggy frozen berries? Are the brownies homemade or from a hydrogenated mix? With icing? Do they contain nuts? Are we talking about plain ice cream here or a Dairy Queen large vanilla cone dipped in that amazing hot melted chocolate? Answers! I need answers!

Come on…fess up. You had all kinds of questions, too, and probably thought about which answer would turn out to be “the best” answer, didn’t you? Didn’t you? What do you think a psychiatrist would say about that?

Sisters Janet & Greta Podleski are the authors of four #1 bestselling cookbooks known for their unique combination of great-tasting, healthy recipes, useful nutrition tips, and corny humor.